


Hair Scare Routine

by FleetSparrow



Series: Drawlloween 2020 [4]
Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27097432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetSparrow/pseuds/FleetSparrow
Summary: Batman needs Joker's help to find Robin.  And Joker likes looking his best when a Batman comes to call.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Joker (DCU)
Series: Drawlloween 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954945
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	Hair Scare Routine

_“Combed my hair in a pompadour, like the rest of the Romeos wore, a permanent wave.”_

“Would you shut up?” Two-Face yelled from his cell.

Joker sang louder, styling his hair in the dim reflection of the glass cell door.

“What are you getting pretty for?” Ivy asked, across the hall. “You’ll never look good to me.”

“That’s not for you, Ivy,” Riddler said. “He thinks ‘his Batman’s’ coming in here.”

“That’s just where you’re wrong!” Joker said, giving his hair a last little poof. “It’s not _my_ Batman, but it’s _a_ Batman.”

“You mean, you’re dolling yourself up for _any_ old Batman now?” Crane drawled. “Harley would be disappointed.”

“Well, you’d know about disappointing the ladies, Crane,” Joker mumbled. Louder, he said, “Harley and I have an understanding. Besides, my Batman doesn’t care about the little things I do for him. This one does.”

A shadow loomed in the corridor and Joker squealed like a schoolgirl.

“He’s here! Batsy-poo!”

Batman walked down the hall, stopping outside Joker’s cell.

“Joker.”

“Batman.”

They stared at each other for a long minute.

“Hair looks nice,” Batman said.

“You noticed!” Joker batted his eyes at him. “I always try look my best, especially when my help is needed.”

“One night,” Batman said. “Three hours tops, and you’re back in here.”

“Well then, time’s a-wastin’. Let’s go!”

Batman nodded to the guard down the hall. The guard punched in a code and the glass door slid up and open. Joker waited one more moment as the invisible electrical grid went off, then stepped out of his cell.

He offered his arm to Batman like a gentleman going on a date. Batman just cuffed Joker’s wrist to his own and led the way out.

“Spoilsport,” Joker said.

“I’ll take if off when we get to the car,” Batman said.

“Should’ve known you’d be into bondage, considering,” Joker said as they left Arkham. “All those times of getting tied up must’ve done a number on your delicate young psyche.”

“I managed,” Batman said, smiling slightly. He uncuffed Joker once they were in the Batmobile, settled in, and started it up. “Now, I know it would be hilarious to lead me on the wildest of goose chases, but I really need Robin tonight, and you’ve only got three hours, so let’s just pick him up without fuss tonight?”

Joker frowned and crossed his arms. “You really have learned too much as Batman.”

Dick shook his head. “I meant what I said, though. The hair looks nice today.”

Joker beamed. “What say we get Robin then paint the town red, eh, Batman? I’ve got three whole hours….”

“Not with my blood, thanks.”

“Spoilsport,” Joker said, though this time there was only playfulness in his tone.

“Tell you what,” Dick said. “Teach me some tips for dealing with helmet hair, and I’ll let you keep riding shotgun.”

Joker wiggled his fingers. “Why, Batman, that sounds like a great plan!”


End file.
